People are freaking out because I'm not outwardly grieving Edward's passing. Okay - so my boyfriend passwed away on Saturday. Yes, it's a big deal and yes, I miss him. But, being depressed and hysterically crying all the time is not how he would have wanted me to pay tribute to him.
Edward said, "Sadness is easy because it's surrender." I think he got that from a movie but it sums up how he lived his life. It would be a great disservice to his memory for me to act contrary to how he wanted to be remembered. Duh!
Besides, those people that are freaked out that I'm able to seem to carry on as usual are the same ones who would totally get spooked if they see me falling apart. Come on! Admit it! There are people that you rely on so much to keep their shit together that when they lose it, it freaks you out a bit. Well - I have a lot of those people in my life. I can't afford to "lose it" because there are a lot of people depending on me to keep it together.
Such is life (and death). I do miss Edward a whole lot. I know I would be more than content to spend the rest of my life with him but that wasn't what was in the cards for us. I'm just glad I had the chance to spend quality time with him, even though it was for a brief period of time. Sometimes I think that it might have been better not knowing what I was missing in life but maybe it really is "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Maybe.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Starting over after a long-relationship ends - the thoughts, the fears, and all the other things you try to keep yourself busy with to move your life along.
2 comments:
Baby, that sucks. But you do what feels right to you. My vote is for better to have & been loved than not.
My sympathies.
Thank you so much! It really helps to have people cheer me on.
Post a Comment