The Most Romantic Letter I've Received

The only good thing about moving (aside from getting a new place to live, I mean) is that you find unexpected treasures you've been keeping for ages but never really get to appreciate. I found a box full of sentimental crap I've received over the past decades that's more like a time capsule than anything.

In any case, I found this letter that have always struck a chord in my heart. It's not as old as the other treasures in that box but, by far, it is the most romantic letter I've ever received in my life. Now, I've gotten a lot of great letters but this one is emotionally raw, unguarded and honest.

This is the letter in its entirety, except with a few edits to remove specifics. If the original author ever comes across this in cyberspace, you know who you are and thank you.

So I borrowed that CD from L. Here I am, just like a scene from a dumb romantic movie: on the red-eye flight, listening to your music recommendation, and writing this e-mail to you. This must be your mood music because I remember the last time we talked about this group. It was at the holiday party. They started playing EBTG. You laughed, said you have the same exact CD in your Jeep’s player. You're favorite is "Driving".

I remember how you looked amazing that evening. Your skin was glowing from being out in the sun all week. You were wearing an ivory coat, a long black skirt with a slit up the front, and a very exotic blue necklace and earrings. I swear I didn't hear a single word you said for about 5 minutes. All I could think about was why I never noticed how beautiful you are.

I walked away for a bit but when I returned to where you were, I saw you talking to someone else. You smiled at him and he kissed your forehead. Must be him. All I could think about was how wonderful it must be to have a great lady look at you that way. I’ve never felt that lonely before in my life. I remember thinking what I would give up to have just that, not to want anything else and be completely happy. I should have known then that my life would never be the same.

In the last nine years we’ve been friends, I’ve never expected anything from you. Although I think about you all the time in the most intimate of situations with me, I hope you’ve never felt that I crossed any lines. I understand what you have is the most important thing to you and I would not jeopardize the things we both treasure. But I hope you understand where I am right now. You exemplify all that I will never have, all that I will always dream about. Do you know the pain that I have to go through each and every time we speak?

When we talk, you seem to know how to put my complicated emotions so simply in to words. When we meet, the sight of you takes my breath away. When you cry, the whole world stops and my heart gets crushed. Your touch fills all the emptiness I have in my life and your voice whispers melancholy tunes in my head. Your happiness brings me sorrow and your tears bring me joy because I can comfort you. I don’t want to be your friend – it’s too much of a sacrifice to go on like this. But, I know I can never be your lover. I’m so sorry.

I know I’m rambling. Certain seasons really gets me emotional. I feel confused, angry, and sad. And, of course, where I’m at right now doesn’t help. There’s nothing lonelier than a middle-aged single man traveling in the middle of the night, listening to chick music while looking over catalogs of presents I can’t buy for you and writing love letters to an unavailable woman. I’m sorry but the sentimental me is really hurting – I wish you were here to kiss, to touch, to hold.